Dating a Woman with a Child and Ex? Read This!

Single moms will surely be in the mix if you’re still in the dating game in your 30s or beyond. Dating a woman with a child and ex can be challenging yet fulfilling. After all, you get to build a special bond with two people! But remember, there will be some added sensitivity when dating these women.

Here’s what you need to know about dating single moms.


Dating a Woman with a Child and Ex? 9 Tips for a Successful Relationship!

dating a woman with a child and ex (infographic)

❤️ Be More Involved When Dating a Woman with a Child

Mother Carrying Her Baby Girl - dating a woman with a child and ex
Photo Courtesy of Katie E

Be more involved when getting to know the woman you want to date, regardless of whether she has a child. Here are some questions you can ask her:

  • What are some of your daily activities?
  • What do you like doing in your free time?
  • What’s important to you in your life?

Remember, a woman with kids will likely have a more structured routine to balance her and her child’s life. And being able to keep up with these can make your relationship last! 

Aside from that, making an effort to engage in her likes can help her feel much appreciated. After all, since much of her life revolves around her kids, she often forgets to think about herself!

By making her feel supported, you can make your bond with her and her kids tighter than ever. So, try to be curious and more involved with her. 

❤️ Accept that Her Child is Her First Priority

For most single moms, their child likely always comes first! So, it’s crucial to understand and accept this. And even if you don’t have children of your own, you see how admirable a parent’s devotion to their kids can be. Embracing this fact can enrich both your relationship with mom and kid! 

Aside from that, some kids may experience insecurity at the thought of their mom dating. After all, these two have been there for each other ever since her ex left the picture. That’s why it’s only natural for some children to be intense. 

Remember to respect both and allow them to navigate things where they’re comfortable. So, accept being second, and you’ll be in a happy and fruitful relationship. 

❤️ Show Her Your Gratitude

Father and Son Preparing Food at a Kitchen
Photo Courtesy of August de Richelieu

Nothing beats showing your partner how much you love being with them by reminding them they’re special!

It’s especially crucial when dating a woman with a child and ex, as they tend to be more insecure. So, show that you appreciate the effort she makes to spend some time with you. 

A great way to show your gratitude is by offering to cover the costs of a babysitter when going out on a date. This gesture lets you show how important she is to you while appreciating her identity as a mom. This way, you can make her feel supported and loved. 

Another way to express your gratitude is by helping her out with her everyday routine. Offer to make dinner later or take her child to school. These won’t only show your appreciation, but they can also reduce her stress! 

Although you aren’t stepping in as a step-dad immediately, these small gestures can bring you two and her child closer together. 

❤️ Take it Slow When Dating a Woman with Kids

A woman dealing with a kid and her ex is already exhausting as it is. So, don’t rush your relationship and take things slow. And don’t try to be anything too much too soon to both your partner and their child. If you don’t know how to pace things in the relationship, be honest and discuss boundaries with her.

So as tempting it is, don’t take on a role you can’t maintain long-term. It’s best to follow your partner’s lead and give your relationship some time to flourish. I suggest focusing on developing trust before taking anything else to the next level. 

❤️ Be Honest with Your Intentions 

Couple Sitting on Brown Sand Near Seashore
Photo Courtesy of Anastasiya Lobanovskaya

Dating a woman with a child can be a huge responsibility, so be honest if you’re not ready for it. State your intentions from the get-go to prevent wasting her and your time. So, decide if you’re interested in a long-term partner or are considering marriage? And do you see yourself co-raising her children?

Most single moms want to know what kind of commitment men desire beforehand. And how much you’re willing to give in return. Whatever it is, be honest and upfront as you begin dating. 

Embracing honest and open communication from the beginning can benefit your relationship long-term. After all, it encourages openness to both sides, bringing you two closer than ever!

❤️ Become an Emotional Support System for Her

Most single moms undergo heaps of pressure to provide for their children. And dating can be one of the most stressful things these women go through. So, understand her situation and be there for her, whether listening or helping. But don’t be too overbearing and try to solve every issue your partner has. 

After all, sometimes, having a presence near is just enough to get some people through their days! Not to mention offering support will help you two develop a closer bond. 

I recommend practicing active listening to become an emotionally supportive partner. It involves being 100% present in all conversations. Be patient, ask questions to clarify some things, and discuss what your partner says. This way, you’ll be able to encourage your partner to share more, talk more, and feel better over time. 

❤️ When Dating a Single Mom, Let Her Handle Her Child and Ex

parents communicating with newborn baby in arms
Photo Courtesy of Anna Shvets

Dealing with an ex is one of the most challenging things to accept when dating a woman with a child. But this won’t always be the case, nor does it have to be. Please show your support and trust by staying out of their business. Even if it’s tempting to take sides, remember it’s their problem. 

They’ve likely begun long before you got into the picture and will continue with—or without you! So, instead of overcomplicating things, please don’t get involved and lend a hand when she asks for it. 

Leaving your partner to handle her child and ex means a lot and may even go a long way with the ex. As a result, you’ll cultivate a healthier environment for you and your partner and her kids. The same rule applies to her children. Let her raise her offspring her way. 

Of course, it’s your job to keep them safe, happy, and secure, but leave that parenting to the parents. And unless your partner asks for assistance, don’t involve yourself. 

So, though it’s hard, respect your partner’s boundaries when talking with her ex and kids. Remember, you’re there to offer her warmth and companionship. And if you have a question or two, ask away but don’t be too impeding! 

❤️ Don’t Discipline Her Child Without Consent

If your partner has introduced you to her child, she’s likely interested in taking things more seriously.

But unless she asks for your support, never discipline her kids without consent! Let her handle 100% of the task. However, if you are concerned about the child’s behavior, talk to your partner about it in private. 

Unfortunately, if you have huge concerns about her approach to discipline, you may need to reconsider, especially if you’re looking to have your kids someday. Whatever the case, don’t attempt to resolve the issue without talking to your partner first. 

❤️ Acknowledge that Dating a Woman with a Child and Ex is Different

 Mother Hugging Daughter - dating a woman with a child and ex
Photo Courtesy of Ron Lach

When dating a single mother, accept that things will be different. You might have been able to gauge a woman’s feelings by how much effort they put into your bond. But this isn’t always the case for single moms. 

They might not have much free time to meet up with you often. Remember, women with children often have more limited time. Plus, most of their energy goes toward taking care of her children. That’s why you must look for other expressions of their feelings toward you.

Moreover, most single moms tend to be more explicit about what they’re looking for in life. And this might remove a lot of mysteries in the relationship, making it easier for both of you. 

Either way, acknowledge that dating a single mom is different. And that you must adjust your expectations and wants. 


How to Make it Last? 6 More Things to Know Before Dating Single Moms.

Here are a few things to know before dating a woman with a child and ex to make your relationship last:

👩‍👦 You May Not Meet Her Child Straight Away 

Most parents like to keep their personal lives separate from their children. So don’t be offended if the woman you’re interested in doesn’t let you meet her kids straight away. Most single moms like to confirm the seriousness of the partnership beforehand. After all, what mother would stay in a relationship that doesn’t seem will last?

Prepare yourself to wait from anywhere between a couple of months to years. Ultimately, it’s the mom’s choice when they’ll introduce you to her kids. So, take it slow and be patient!

👩‍👦 Dating a Woman with a Child and Ex Entails A Lot of Conversations About the kids 

There’s no going around this. You need to get along with kids if you’re looking to date a single mom. So prepare to have a lot of conversations about her child or children in general. And this is aside from your time around the kids. 

Remember, your partner’s children are important to them, so it’s only natural for her to talk about them. So, if you’re looking to take the relationship to the next level, be respectful and go with the flow.

👩‍👦 You’ll Hear About Her Ex – A Lot 

Aside from conversations about her children, expect a lot of talk about her ex. Whether she has a healthy and platonic co-parenting relationship with the father of her child or not, this will be a regular subject. These can be small things such as mentioning the father picking up her child from school or complaining he doesn’t do enough. 

It would be best to accept this since the ex needs to be a part of the kids’ lives in these types of relationships. So though it might be awkward, you need to go with it if you want to be with a single mom. Just make sure to express discomfort when required. 

👩‍👦 She Might Be a Little too Upfront

Single moms don’t have any time to waste as busy as they are. So, don’t be surprised at how honest and upfront these ladies can be when on dates. After all, dating may feel like a luxury on top of raising her child. If they’re not feeling it, expect to hear about it soon. 

As difficult as it is, it would be best if you were understanding. Luckily, as brutal as this attitude is, it saves you and her plenty of time and heartbreak.

👩‍👦 She Won’t Have Much Free Time

When it comes to going on dates and making plans with a single mom, it won’t be as easy as you expected. The time you two can go on dates depends on your partner’s schedule and her kids. It needs to be when the children are well taken care of and have someone to look after them. 

But that’s not to say that she won’t make time for you. Still, it would be best if you were open to working around your partner’s and her kids’ routines. Aside from that, you may also need to make more compromises. 

For instance, when your partner gets exhausted from looking after her kids all day and you want to go out, meet in the middle and do something that you two will enjoy!

👩‍👦 Trust Issues are Common Among Women with Kids 

If she’s a single mom, there’s a massive chance that this isn’t how she wanted her life to be early on. Maybe she got divorced, or the father of her kids ran away from the responsibilities. Either way, her past relationships likely have taken a toll on her ability to trust someone. So, you need to understand and be patient with a single mom. 

It’s best to take things slow and be gentle. You don’t need to do anything drastic, as most women with a child and an ex appreciate someone being there for them. 


Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is it worth dating a woman with a child and ex?

A: If you genuinely love the person, no attachments will make the entire thing not worthwhile. But if you’re interested in a lady with a child, remember to be confident and independent. After all, single moms prioritize their kiddos over anything else! Plus, you must understand that most need to be in contact with their exes for the sake of their kid. 

Q: Will it be hard to date a woman with a child and an ex?

A: Dating a woman with a child and ex won’t be easy. But looking past the cons of dating one, there are many reasons why you should try dating a single mom. Remember, these women will need your support and understanding. And if you can go through all the bumps in the road, it’s worthwhile. 

Q: Is dating a single mother a good idea?

A: Dating a single mom with a kid and an ex isn’t ideal for everyone, and it isn’t something to get into lightly! Remember, for these women—their children are their everything. No matter how much you dote each other, there will be times when the kids will interrupt. So, unless you’re good with children and don’t mind being second, there’s no reason not to date a single mom.

Q: What happens if I marry a woman with a child and ex?

A: When you marry a woman with a kid or two, you’re not only signing up for her but her kids as well. It’s a lifetime commitment, and you need to show your love to both the mother and her children for it to last. Who knows? Your involvement with your stepkids may stay till you become a step-grandparent!

Q: Is a woman with kids a red flag?

A: Being a single parent and having an ex isn’t a red flag. But since single mothers have huge responsibilities, it’s natural for them to be more disciplined than those non-parents of the same age. So, if you spot irresponsible actions or overall behavior in a single mom, consider it a red flag.


Final Words

Although you might not be sure if you’re ready to become a parent, understand that respecting a woman’s kids is needed to make a relationship work long-term. After all, when dating a woman with a child and ex, you want to become a supportive influence. And going past all these hardships will give you some of the best rewards in life: a loving partner, kid, and family!